JOCK OF THE DAY:

A Doctor and a Lawyer, in separate cars, collided on a country road. The Lawyer,
seeing that the Doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from his car and offered him
a drink from his hip flask.
The Doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the Lawyer, who closed it and put it
away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the Doctor
"Sure, after the police leave!" replied the Lawyer

Legal One Lines from an actual Court Room
1. Was it you or your brother killed in the war?
2. The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he now?
3. Were you alone or by yourself?
4. How far apart where the vehicles at the time of collision?
5. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
6. Were you present when the picture was taken?
7. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
8. And by whose death was the life terminated?
9. So were you gone until you returned?
10.How many times have you committed suicide?
11.And these stairs, did they go up as well as down?
12.Sir, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
13.And this autopsy, was it performed on a dead person?
14.So the patient was dead at the time, is that correct?
15.Are you qualified to give a urine sample?